How does that commercial go? Life comes at you hard you need visa? Fuck that life comes at you hard you need an iron stomach, a heart of stone, and a quit place to just fucking cry. Im sure Im not alone in thinking when will life give me a break? Does every day have to be a challenge?

Lost a few pounds stress will do that to you.

Dreams, fantasies and nightmares
all so different yet the same
dreams are what you hope to do to accomplish
fantasies are more like wishes
nightmares are fueled by our fears
sometimes they cross paths
dreams become nightmares
fantasies become dreams
how do you tell them apart
when they intermingle

Havent posted in awhile my life has been in turmoil. Dont know when I will post again. I thought I have been through enough in my life but I was wrong. The last seven months have been rough I have lost 60 lbs and started back smoking. I smoke way to much but don't seem to care. Most of the time my mind is lost in thought. I'm hopeing that now I can get it together. We will see. Take it day by day as Ive been told. No deal

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

What Color Is Your Brain?

Flashback Friday

This is a couple of pictures from my time in the Army when I was stationed in Germany. This is just a few of my party buddies. We sure did party over there. I wished I knew where they all were. If you reconize one let me know. This was in or around 1986.

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St Augustine Two

More from St. Augustine taken with a couple new cameras.



Taken with my Nikon FE



Taken with my Praktica MTL5

St Augustine

Me and the wife went to St. Augustine Fla. this weekend. We have a great time. This is a cool city to visit, lots to see. We stayed at the World Golf Village. The room we had was by far the nicest we had ever stayed in. I wish we could have had more time to sightsee.

Dauset trails

Me and my son went bike riding at Dauset Trails. If you have never been there you should go check it out. There are some very nice trails there to hike or bike. We had a blast.

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Atlanta

These photos were taken during a recent trip to Atlanta. We stayed at the Wesin Hotel. We had a great time and I recomend you stay there if you go and visit the CNN center. I've been busy latly and unable to post. Working a lot latly, I have 17 years of debt that working for the fire dept has put me in, but I make damn good money now. Enjoy the pictures.

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SEC

Last night should lay to rest the argument, the SEC is the best football conference in the land. Florida really wasn't even our best team. The big ten is a joke. Funny how Lee Corso had so much to say leading up to the game and now he has laryngitis. He is full of crap is what he is.

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Southeastern Conference, SEC, Lee Corso

Happy New Year

Well I had a great Christmas and new Year. I am now on day shift and I love it. I stay very busy at work but that makes the day go by quickly. I got a Holga camera for Christmas that I want to try. I got my youngest daughter a Canon QL 17 lll and A canon 28 for Christmas, so she is on her way to collecting cameras too. I leave you with a shot of Macons Terminal train station taken with my Konica Auto S2.



macon, georgia

River

From the bridge over the Ogmulgee river in Juliette georgia. The sun was almost set. I took this with my Minolta SRT 101. I also have this shot in color I took with my Panasonic Lumix.
ogmulgee river, juliette georgia, sunset photos, fried green tomatoes

ogmulgee river, juliette georgia, sunset photos, fried green tomatoes

Favorite Childhood Christmas memory

My favorite childhood Christmas memory doesn't happen in a particular year but in all of them.
I cannot sleep the night before Christmas never could and when I was a child I would wake up around three in the morning. My mother always put out the toys before she went to bed so I knew they were in the living room. Of course I discovered this by sneaking in one morning to see if Santa had already come. After that particular Christmas I snuke in every Christmas since. I would look around and see everything that I had and try not to wake momma. Once I saw everything I would go back to bed and think of the fun I would have after momma wook up. Man I could not wake till she got up. Eventually I started awaken my brother to join me in what I must have thought was a crime. Silly isn't it, I don't remember one particular toy or Christmas as being special just sneaking around on Christmas.

christmas

My Grandfather

It will soon be Christmas and my thoughts go to my father. Not that I have all these wonderful Christmas memories with him but because he was born and died in the month of December. He was my grandfather actually, but was the only father i ever had until after his death.

He had divorced my grandmother when I was very young. He used to call me and ask if I wanted to come spend the weekend with him and I always jumped at the chance. For a while I spent a weekend every couple of months with him but as I grew older the weekends grew longer apart. When I was 16 I lived with him for about 10 months or so but I was never comfortable there.

We only had a few things in common, our love for boiled peanuts, Hershey kisses, and professional wrestling. The man only watch two sports, wrestling and racing. I used to think he was secretly Mr. wrestling number 2.

I always thought of him as a great man even if I really didn't ever know him that well. The last 18 years or so of his life I was married and busy raising my kids. I didn't get to see him but a few times a year. his health wasn't the best the last 10 years of his life. He had several surgeries and heart caths. In the end it would be CHF that kills him.

The last time I saw him I had stopped by the hospital to see him. He was being discharged so I stayed and help get him to my cousins car. After i helped him into the car he looked at me and said "I love you". i responded with "I love you too". This was the first time that we had said these words to each other and it was the last thing we ever said. He died a week later.

I have no animosity towards him about this, in fact this is how I remember him out of all my memories this one is best. It was as he knew it was his last chance to let me know something I had known anyway.

jody criswell, macon georgia

Macon Ga. at Dawn

macon georgia,

Macon, Georgia

Lesson

A few years back I wrote a song about my father, I had never met him and was thinking about finding him. I was over all the anger and stuff that one has from the feeling of abandonment. This song just came to me, it is not out of anger or spite but is from the realazation that stuff happens for a reason.

Lesson

You walked out of my life when I was too young to remember
Put me in a club not wanting to be a member
Don't know what you were thinking
Left your little boy without blinking

I needed you to teach me
I needed to learn
I needed you to teach me
Should have been my turn
Life isn't fair
Did you even care

You lived minutes away
You could have seen me everyday
Was it too much to ask
Or were you scared of the task
I would've loved to play ball
Or even just a call

I needed you to teach me
I needed to learn
I needed you to teach me
Should have been my turn
Life isn't fair
Did you even care

I am grown now with children of my own
Never did I feel the need to roam
It took me many years to see
Lifes lesson you had taught me
I never ran
Because I knew how to be a man

Christmas

Who is thru Christmas shopping?

I am almost thru, don't have much to buy left. I love this time of year. I love to shop and spend money, just wish I was spending more on myself. I should get some camera stuff and a new camera, but I don't know what else I am getting. It sure is cold outside tonight. Last night my well froze, I had to thaw it with a hair dryer. I have the water running tonight so that doesn't happen again. I like the cold but I just arn't use to it anymore. I spent three years in Germany it seemed to stay cold over there. I remember a friend of mine from Florida (Kieth Logan) He use to slip and fall all the time in the snow over there. I don't think he had ever seen snow till he came to Germany. I had one white Christmas when I was over there and we played football in it. My family was back in Georgia.

Cemetary In Savannah Ga.

Taken with my panasonic lumix.

Steve Solomon

Monday Steve Solomon was laid to rest in Macon, Ga. He was a firefighter in Atlanta and my friend. We were stationed at the same firehouse in Macon, station 11. He was a great guy and a good firefighter. He also was a loving father of four. I got to meet his children once and as they say you can tell a lot about someone by the way their children act. He has well mannered and well behaved children. My prayers will be with his widow and children for now on.

He died a hero fighting fire for little money or recognition. He gave up more than anything he would have saved was worth. Firefighters are a special bunch. They always risk their lives for yours or most of the time your belongings. They are always underpaid. They are a brotherhood that transcends petty fire station quarrels. More than a thousand firefighters from all over the country showed up to laid our brother to rest.

Here are a few links with pictures of the funeral. My favorites are when his officer gives his badge to his little girl. (if this doesn't bring tears to your eyes you have no heart) and the one of a good friend of mine crying. I am proud to be a firefighter even if not actively at this time.

Steve make sure nuthing burns down in heaven before I get there OK.

macon georgia, steve solomon, firefighter

My Dog

A low life piece of shit fucking asshole hunter shot my dog yesterday. He will live unlike the one killed last year, probably by the same piece of shit hunter.

I hope your dick rots off.

My dog has a collar and only goes to the edge of my property. Some hunters do not respect thier neighbors. My dogs are medium size and could never be confused with a deer. Don't be surprized if you become the hunted you piece of shit low life bastard.

Konica Auto S2

Popular street in Macon from this angle has a nice view of two old churches.



An artist I met in Juliette georgia.

Both pictures taken with My Konica auto S2.

konica auto s2, macon, georgia, juliette georgia

HNT

My Children with one half Nakid.

hnt, half makid thursday

My Daughters wedding

Photo Taken with Neopan 1600 black and white film. The photos were overexposed some because i didn't realize the characteristics of the film. A few photos turned out well though. This is the groom and his court.

Lee Edwards

Is anyone still close to their best friend from childhood?

I had a few best friends growing up, one of them was Lee Edwards.I met Lee when I was seven years old, he was a year younger than I. His mother was my mine and my brothers babysitter. I only knew a few people who lived with both their mom and dad and he was one of them. Most of my friends lived with their grandmother as I did. Evidently we hit it off when we first met because we remained best friends until after our stints in the military. We always played together, he would do whatever i wanted. Weather it was play ball or army which was my two favorite things to do. Our first and only argument was when I was seventeen and it was a short one.

Lee was smaller than I, wirery as they say, but same height. When we were around ten years old he taught me how to fish. His father had taught him and now he was teaching me. We spent many days fishing on Rocky Creek a little creek in my hometown. It was nothing for us to spend all day fishing.

I would say years past where a day didn't go by that we didn't see each other. His house was less then a quarter mile from mine and he stopped by every morning. My brother Lee and me walked to school every morning till eight grade. There was no shortage of kids in Penalton Homes but Lee was the best of them. When we reach our teens we began to drink and do drugs together as well. We experimented with all the drugs and thought this was the thing to do. A lot of time was spent watching TV at my house smoking. We also used to play two handed spades and eventually got almost unbeatable as a team.


After I got married and joined the Army he did too. We were stationed in Germany and he spent most holidays with my wife and I. He got out of the Army a year after I did and moved back home. His mother who had divorced when Lee was ten was slightly mental and still treated him like a child.We continue to go fishing but eventually this stopped.

I was no longer into drugs and he kept them at a minimum to start with, but eventually hanging with the same old crowd got him using heavy again. He had also gotten married to a lady he met in California.

The last time we were hanging out my son and I were fishing at seven Bridges with him. We had a blast laughing at my son getting his line caught in the trees. There is a art to fishing creeks with all the bushes and limbs. Lee was doing drugs heavily and I only saw him once more after this day and we just talk for a few minutes because I was on my way to school. He called me once to offer to help me build my house after my mom had told him my hose burned down. He would need a ride to get there though.

I never went to pick him up or spoke to him again. He was strung out and I couldn't help him.

I had just spent a week on Tybee island when my mother called and told me he was dead. He was just 38.

He had moved to California to get off drugs. I hoped he accomplished this but in the end it was alcohol that did him him. He was found intoxicated on the street choking on his own vomit. He was dead by the time he reach the hospital.

He died in 2003, i had not seen him since 1996 and that was only time since 1992. I hate the way things turned out with him. I don't fish anymore.

I miss my fishing buddy.

lee edwards, macon georgia

Rose Hill

Busted Graves

HNT

Not quite Half nakid but on her way there.

half nakid thursday
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Monday Memories - Army Men

When I was four or maybe five I remember playing in the yard. We lived near downtown in a raggedy old house that is no longer there. I remember the house being two story and wooden with a small yard. We lived downstairs. When it rained the roof leaked, I guess so did the second floor because we had pots everywhere collecting the water as it dripped through.

I used to play in the side yard, it was small just wide enough for a car to drive through. There was this pile of bricks next to a bush with red flowers. The bush collected bumble bees in the summer. I would gather sticks and break them to make army men. Then I would play with my army men in that pile of bricks.

When I was six we moved to the projects, it was there that I finally got some real army men to play with. But I had to replace my pile of bricks with a hole I dug in the yard. On my new battlefield I play with those army men till I was eleven. Whenever I could get my friends to play we would play army in the woods with our toy guns.

At eighteen I join the U.S. Army learning to become a man, gaining independence and responsibility. This was also my first job in the medical field, I was a Combat Medic.

I have a lot of respect for our servicemen and women both past and present. In every cemetery I visit I seek out their graves to take pictures as a way to remember them and what they have done. You don't have to be a life long "army men fan" to respect our soldiers. No matter if you agree with the politics or not our soldiers sacrifice very much sometimes all to do a job for their country, our country.

As Jack said " we need them on that wall".

macon+ga, army

Perry State Fair

Going back a month or so, we went to the Perry fair and had our and a couple other peoples share of food. I ate 2 corndogs, half a cinimon roll, Ribs, cotton candy, Fries, Something else but I can not remember. We love to go and eat this crap. The fair always brings back childhood memories even if it was another fair I went to then.

state fair
macon
photography

Some Pics with My Konica C35

This is a very nice camera, auto everything but fucus. You can zone focus. The lens is a moderate wide angle so its nice to take pictures of Buildings. Mine needs light seals. But I have used it several times before that happened. I bought for about 15 bucks on e-bay. It is compact and light. I went to Atlanta and Juliette Ga. to take a few pics. The bank is in Juliette as well as the one with my baby. She hates having her picture taken but I love to do it.

konica c35, rangefinder cameras, juliette ga. atlanta ga.



macon, photography, sex

Zorki 6

This is my home I took this picture with a Zorki 6. I'm not real happy with this camera. The hinged back is harder to load for some reason and the shutter speeds I belive are off. I use the sunny sixteen rule and all my pictures exposures are off. I use this same method with all my mechanical rangefinders. This is one that i will just keep in collection and won't use again.

zorki 6, rangefinder, cameras, photography





macon georgia, photography, sex

Veterans Day

In honour of our forgotten veterans. These pictures come from a cemetery in Monroe county that is kinda in the middle of nowhere and is being restored and taken care of by a group of people. These veterans are from the CSA although they fought in a war that shouldn't have happened and for the losing side thier memory and willingness to fight for there country shouldn't be forgotten.







veterans day



macon georgia, photography, sex

Yashica MG 1

This picture was taken at the Sweetwater festivsl. Only 3 of the 12 turned out and photo lab lost negatives so I don't know what happened. It also has a light leak.

More On Election

Now that the Republicans have blew it lets look at why they lost from my point of view. As the old saying goes absolute power corrupts.

1. The war in Iraq - I believe that most people didn't vote against Republicans based just on this.

2. Jack Abramoff - This guy may go down as the main reason the Republicans lost so much.

3. Mark Foley - We may be able to accepts him being gay but a sexual predator is too much.

4. J. Dennis Hastert - A liar and a man that is willing to protect his fellow Republicans no matter how vile they are.

5. Religion - I for one don't want my government into any kind of religion and I am a Christian.

6. Lastly Bush himself - The man is so fucking hardheaded that he has now lost control of it all. His new name should be wishy washy bushy.

All this combine turned enough people off. Democrats take note you didn't win because we like you or your policies, you won because we are pissed off at the republicans.


jack abramoff, mark foley, j. dennis hastert, president bush, republicans, democrats

HNT

I've manage to loose 13 lbs since last HNT mostly in my face and abs. I need to loose 50 more. I weigh 239. Happy HNT to you all. You can see the lines under my eyes from lack of sleep. Night shift sucks.

Just some Thoughts

Well the Democrats are now in power lets see if they screw shit up even more. I have a feeling Nancy Pelosi liberalism will be more than I can stand. I bet Shawn Hannity was crying this morning.

I have 5 more weeks of night shift, I will be glad to be back on days. I never get enough sleep anymore. I am always wore out at work and feel like my brain is on vacation. Hell I don't even feel like making love to Kathy because I am so tired all the time.

The Macon Fire Dept has their promotions now give them their raises.

We have a place in Macon that sells hot dogs called Nuway, they sell the best hot dogs in the world. This picture was taken from the inside of the restaurant when I ate there last week. It was taken with a Canon Canonet QL 19.




macon bibb co. fire dept, nu way, macon ga.

Leica Fakes

A couple pictures taken with my Lieca Nazi copy camera. One is a friend of mine on fire dept and the other is Gatlenburg Tenn.






leica nazi fakes, cameras, rangefinders, firefighters
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Sweetwater Festival

Just a few pictures of the Sweetwater Festival in Millegville Ga. This is a pretty good festival with a bar-b-que cookoff and a classic car show. At night there will be live music and beer.


sweetwater festival, millegville ga., georgia
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More on Jim Marshall

To put it simply if you like your liars to also give your money to illegal immigrants then vote for Jim Marshall. He and his cronies will give your hard earned money that you pay in taxes to illegal immigrants to help them live in our country.

Pictures taken at a press conference.


Jim Marshall, Macon Georgia, Mac Collins, immigration
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macon georgia, photography, sex

My Backyard and A bike

These pictures were taken with my Zorki2c camera. I love how they turned out. The lens on this thing "jupiter 50" is sharp. These cameras can be had cheap on ebay get one and start shooting.

zorki 2c, rangefinder, cameras
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Jim Mashall is A liar

Jim Marshal is a liar. When he was mayor of Macon He tried to break parity between the police and fire depts. Parity is where we have the same pay scale. During a meeting with fire fighters he was trying to explain why and I asked him would he veto councils vote if they voted to keep parity, he said no that he would support council decision. So I said that we needed to talk to council not him. Council voted to keep parity and he vetoed it. The man didn't have the intestinal fortitude to tell me the truth. What else has he lied about?

jim marshall, macon georgia, max collins, macon bibb co. fire dept
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macon, photography, sex

My Wife

This is my wife at the old Macon cemetery on 7th street. the cemetery is beyond the column on the hill. I wasn't sure this camera worked, no lights in viewfinder or any other indication it was working. The Canonet 28 is aperture priority, so I never knew what shutter speed I was getting. It took some very good pictures for me but most were in harsh daylight as I was just testing it and used the time I had available.





canon canonet 28, cameras, rangefinder
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The Ogmulgee River

The Ogmulgee river at Juliette Ga.
Taken with my Panasonic Lumix DMC Fz20

My Dog Cowboy

This was a dog that the humane society didn't want. They just gave him to my wife. Great for us, he is a very good dog. I took this picture with my Yashica GT. Most of the pictures on this roll were overexposed, I somewhat salvaged this one with photoshop. The shutter speeds on camera seem off so this is a camera that I may need to repair if I am going to use again.

yashica gsn gt
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Firefighters

"POPPET FLAT, Calif. Oct 27, 2006 (AP)— Fire crews struggled to protect homes Friday from a wind-whipped wildfire that trapped and killed four firefighters as it raced through Southern California mountains.

Fire officials were mourning the deaths of four U.S. Forest Service firefighters killed while attempting to protect a home close to where the fire began in Cabazon on Thursday. The flames came so quickly the five-person crew had no time to retreat to its engine or use portable fire shelters." By GILLIAN FLACCUSr>

Death doesn't come quickly enough in this situation. In Macon Ga. my hometown the firefighters are paid one of the lowest salaries in the United States for a dept. of it's size and ISO ranking. City officials don't care and truth be known neither do the citizens I once talked to a citizen of Macon about how the city needs to raise taxes if that's what it takes to pay the police and firefighters more. The reply was as expected, "although they need a raise they shouldn't have to raise taxes to do it".

Hopefully his house will be next then maybe he will have a different opinion of the men and women who risk their lives for his fucking furniture.

macon ga., firefighters
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Two of my Babies

Taken with my Zorki 4 a Russian camera.

zorki 4
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Night Shift

Night shift is killing my ass. I am tired all the time. I got a position on days but have to wait till they hire someone to replace me. Anyone interested? Took a few pictures today of a cemetery thought I would post one. I am trying to write in this blog more but sometimes I don't know what to write, I like being creative but I'm really not that good. Anyway writing here is like talking to myself.

Nurse

I passed the state boards ad now I am officially a nurse. It has been a long journey for me and now instead of it being over I still have work to do. Thirty years ago I just dreamed of the life I now have and didn't believe I could ever attain it. I grew up in a very bad neighborhood with lots of drugs and crime. One day I should post stories about my childhood and teenage years. There is some sad stuff in there.

nurse
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Charleston

My wife took me to Charleston for a graduation gift. We had a very good time and here are a couple of pictures. If you've never been there I recommend you go and eat at Sticky Fingers.

charleston, sticky fingers
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macon georgia, photography, sex

Lucus Wins

Lucus won which really is fine by me, because so far the songs showcased by the band suck. Lucus mumbles through the songs he sings and is really a Mick Jagger copycat on stage. Ryan also isn't anyone I will listen to. Dilana, I will buy all her albums her voice is incredible. As for the others if their music is good I will buy. Toby had the best original song and I predict it will be on radio soon.


dilana, rock star, supernova
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Thoughts of a Bored man.

This week on Rock show supernova they eliminated two people and both of them needed to go. Hopefully soon Patrice will be gone, her personality sucks. She also seems to be a poser. Dilana is the best in my opinion with Lucas or Toby second.


In other news I have job offer at a facility I really want to work at. Hope it works out.

The defeat of Joe Lieberman shows the ignorance of the people in Conn. The people who feel we should pull out of Iraq have no idea what is really going on over there and don't realize the ramifications that pulling out will bring. As of right now the same people who hated us before still hate us but if we pull out the people who want us there will now hate us.


rock show, dilana, joe leiberman
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New Job

I started my new job last night and damn I am tired. I was unable to sleep the day before so when I went to work I had been awake for about 13 hours, then I worked for 12. I've been able to get three hours sleep today and I have to work tonight. I believe it is going to be hard for me to switch to night shift. Maybe I will be able to nap some today.

nurse, nightshift
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Half Nekid

My first half nakid photo. Happy HNT to you all.






hnt, half nakid thursday
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Oh my Dilana is Sexy

I am watching the show rock star supernova and I am in love with Dilana. Her voice is awesome and I love the way she moves on stage. Her perfomances do not lack in anything and I hope she wins. Check her site out for some of her music. Plus she has some cool ink.

dilana, rock star supernova
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Now What?

Well school is over and I start a new job Sunday. I look forward to it but I am also nervous. I will be a nurse extern awaiting my chance to take the state boards.

I am so glad school is over with, I've gained 65 lbs. My body used to look pretty good and now I am fat. Nursing school was very stressful and hard. I did enjoy meeting everyone in my class and hope to stay in touch with most of them even if we are all headed in different directions.

I started a blog when I started school but it was too hard to keep going with all the work I had to do. I was trying to be a firefighter and work part time at hospital along with go to school. So I'm starting a blog again to post my thoughts on my new career and life in general. I think I will also chronicle my struggle to loose weight. Anyway I hope you will enjoy reading what I have to say.

nurse, firefighter
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Done

I am done with school and I passed.